Wetback Report
By Vince Cavanaugh

This came from an old Monthly Chapter Bulletin - Florissant Valley Patch - August 23-24, 1975

     Thanks to Mother Nature and Ben Love (in that order) for a great weekend of canoing and singing on our second annual gloat trip. No one tried to fool Mother Nature so she smiles on us the whole time. Floating down scenic Jacks Fork is always an aesthetic delight even though the water is at times covered with bank to bank canoes. The stretch we floated provided just enough turns and fast water to add a little excitement to the trip and enough sandbars for periodic group pit stops.

     Honors for the most numerous and least disastrous canoe inversions were hotly contested again this year. Larry & Helen Forristal had a good shot at winning the award but they failed to finish the course and were disqualified. My vote for the "Tippy Canoe" award goes to Dick Richards & son who had two rolls with no casualties. Both rolls and subsequent recovery of self and gear were executed flawlessly. Dick is the most optimistic canoer I've ever run across. He made the trip fully clothed in a jump sit. The idea of wearing a jump suit is okay provided you jump soon enough. He didn't.

     Without wishing to detract from Dick's magnificent performance, it must be mentioned, in all fairness that last year's champions Bob Rich and son did not compete this year. They set some kind of record for a one day float. It was about a 50-50 float; 50% of the time in the canoe and 50% in the water.

     To avoid any misunderstanding about the rules of participation in the annual float trip, Ben would like to inform all interested floaters that the event is not conducted according to SPEBSQSA international contest rules, and, therefore, past champions are eligible to compete every year.

     In addition to the float trip, there were a log of good old barbershop fellowship in the campgrounds on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. Saturday' evening's activities were concluded with a barbershop program presented for all campers in the area -- an invitation they graciously declined. The audience consisted of barbershopper's families who attended under duress. We threatened to sing until the applause was sufficient to satisfy our collective egos.

     At the conclusion of Saturday's scheduled program, we had the unexpected pleasure of hearing some unscheduled four part harmony. A campfire quartet was formed by accident and given the name of the Despicable Four by all who didn't have soundproof sleeping quarters.

     Burt Troll recommends a prize of one week in a medieval torture chamber for these four roving troubadours, who after everyone else in camp was soundly asleep, decided to visit their neighbors and serenade them with discordant melodies from J.P.B. Burt, who became an unexpected and reluctant guest of this quartet, was unable to return the visit on Sunday morning because the cowards slept with their wives. Burt was too smart to disturb that potential hornets nest but he can hardly wait for the pamper camper to return the favor. Be prepared for a long night on Oct. 4.

     Among the other memorable incidents of the weekend which should not go unrecorded were Larry Forristal's unforgettable greeting to Dolly Rubin, and the Outdoor Four waking Ricky Olson, who's birthday was Sunday, to the tune of Happy Birthday. That was a little surprise arranged by his father, and one for which he probably will never be forgiven.

     I hope that more members will be able to make it next year. Maybe we can make some long range plans early in the year which will permit more of us to arrange a few days of vacation to coincide with our floating date. It's a weekend you'll never forget - if you get through it alive.